in need of some advice

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J&A_Hernandez_2007
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in need of some advice

Post by J&A_Hernandez_2007 » Fri Jan 04, 2008 3:22 pm

in july of 2007 i was in a custody battle over my 8 year old daughter. i was awarded full custody. my ex was awarded visitation. over christmas, he had her. on christmas eve, he was arrested for misdemenor assult against his mother. in the visitation order he is not to be drinking. this weekend is his to have her. should i let her go? if i don't i am afraid that i would be violating the visitation order.
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suzisco
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Post by suzisco » Sat Jan 05, 2008 3:15 pm

You also have to make sure your daughter is going to be safe.  If he hurt her cos he was drunk, the back lash would go on you as you failed to protect your child etc, however the law is pretty strict about visitation rights.  You perhaps need to talk to a specialist in family law and get your rights in black and white.  I think that would help you more.

Suzi
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Deborah
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Post by Deborah » Sun Jan 06, 2008 5:23 am

you can not violate the orderes you are given ..........but at the same time keep her safe.

Have you called the states attorney / lawyer / legal aide? ask them?

Maybe you can get his visits supervised since he did this...and when he did this was his daughter present? that would be putting her in danger!

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J&A_Hernandez_2007
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Post by J&A_Hernandez_2007 » Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:38 pm

I contacted my lawyer, but I did not here from her in time. My daughter was present, but in the other room. I am going to go back to court to have this brough up and possibly have his visitation changed. Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it.
Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!

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Shortyfrm
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My experience...

Post by Shortyfrm » Mon Jan 07, 2008 5:30 pm

I have recently went thru a terrible custody battle pertaining to my daughter.  Her father was injured in Iraq, as a result, we ended up having to divorce because he damaged the frontal lobe of his brain (the portion that affects out ability to control anger and agression) and it turned him into a different person.  He became very physically abusive toward me, but never his child.  

Anyhow, when we split up, we had our attorneyy set up a visitation schedule.....once he showed a tendency toward violence (slapping my daughter in the face because she wouldn't stop cring)......I didn't care what court it was coming from, I held my child away and totally disregarded the visitation order...upon doing that I did notify my attorney of my actions and this is what she informed me of.

If he violates any of the stipulations that has been set forth by the courts, he has violated his rights to visitation, the main goal is to keep the child protected....if he is going conducting himself in manners that iare unsafe around the child, then essentially he is violating the guidance he was given pretaining to his visitation.....I would contact your former attorney and seek guidance.....if there is ever a question of the safety of the child.....as long as you have all your ducks in a row, you won't much trouble in family court.

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kgirlsmomma
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Post by kgirlsmomma » Mon Jan 21, 2008 12:53 am

I believe he violated the visitation order first by drinking, correct?  It may require a visit to the court..Do all you can to keep your child safe.

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J&A_Hernandez_2007
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Post by J&A_Hernandez_2007 » Mon Jan 21, 2008 4:46 pm

kgirlsmomma wrote:I believe he violated the visitation order first by drinking, correct?  It may require a visit to the court..Do all you can to keep your child safe.
I have contacted my attorney. Thank you for your advice.
Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!

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kgirlsmomma
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Post by kgirlsmomma » Mon Jan 21, 2008 7:48 pm

Stay strong, and centered on your self-care, safety, and that of your child.  Don't settle for less.  You will be OK.  Angel Hugs.

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J&A_Hernandez_2007
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Post by J&A_Hernandez_2007 » Sat Jan 26, 2008 8:20 pm

Thank you for your concern and support. I really appreciate it.
Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!

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kgirlsmomma
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Post by kgirlsmomma » Sun Jan 27, 2008 5:23 am

I am a divorced mother, of 3 daughters.   I know it takes a lot to keep them safe, and to have the knowledge to do what is right, bot legally and 'spiritually'.

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Sorrynn
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Post by Sorrynn » Sun Jan 27, 2008 8:02 am

Just something to remember, not all states have the same laws, so what may be the case in one state isn't the case in another, I would rely on your attorneys advice...I hope things start going better for you and your child!!

(((hugs)))
Brooke

heavenly7073
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Post by heavenly7073 » Sun Jan 27, 2008 7:06 pm

It appears to me that he already violated the terms of the custody agreement when he chose to drink and then abuse his Mother.  Did he do this in front of your child?  If he did then I think I would hold back sending my daughter to visit him and let him take me back to court and let them decide what is in the best interest of the child.  I cannot imagine that any court would condemn you for doing what is in the best interest of the child.  Just be sure you have valid proof that he actually did what you are accusing him of.
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J&A_Hernandez_2007
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Post by J&A_Hernandez_2007 » Tue Jan 29, 2008 2:22 pm

Thanks to all for your advice and support. I really appreciate it! I will keep y'all posted as to what happens with this. Thanks again!
Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!

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