Helicopter Parents

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Gem
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Helicopter Parents

Post by Gem » Sat Jan 05, 2008 4:37 pm

Helicopter parents" who "hyperactively intervene" in the lives of their offspring could damage their children's job prospects, a careers expert says.
Dr Redmond said "helicopter parents" who "hover" over their offspring intervening in their lives far more than in any previous generation were increasingly being seen on university campuses


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7169429.stm

When is too much too much? Should we give our children more freedom or is the world not safe enough?

Deborah
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Post by Deborah » Sun Jan 06, 2008 5:21 am

Gem I know exactly what parents the dr is talking about .. I have one in my care now ..the child does not answer for herself .. she does not know how to do anything with out momma helping her.... her mom HOOVERS over her .. She is almost 5 and is just now putting her coat on alone...and crys doing so ...

These are the children who can not get hurt because mom and dad take the fall ..........


I think we do need to give children some space ..those big mistakes are there to be made .. we have to let them do so..

We can be there to kiss the boo boos and help them stand back up ..but we need to stop doing the falling for them!

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Gem
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Post by Gem » Sun Jan 06, 2008 2:04 pm

Funny you should say that, because I have visions of the children lifting their heads up to say something and them being chopped off by the helicopter blades :(

Deborah
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Post by Deborah » Mon Jan 07, 2008 12:04 pm

Well Gem I think your vision is correct ...... when a parent over protects a child what strenghts are we teaching him?

They have to expand there own wings and learn to fly!!!!!

WHen a parent protects too much the child has no thoughts of his own...thus no head!

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kgirlsmomma
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Post by kgirlsmomma » Mon Jan 21, 2008 12:55 am

Give our children roots & wings..Not helicopter blades. :)

Deborah
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Post by Deborah » Sat Jan 26, 2008 12:38 pm

LOL this is my new topic on my newsletter I am sending out ...

Is your parents a helicopter??

(taken from the book is your momma a llamma?)

I have a helicopter parent in my group now ........ they drive me nuts ..the child is 4 and they hover over her like she cant do anything ........funny she can zip , buckle and put her coat, gloves and boots on all by herself ..but last night when dad came she couldn't even figure out if her gloves go on her foot or hands!

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Prof. Akers
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Post by Prof. Akers » Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:20 pm

What a great term helicopter parents - I know several who's kids come to my classes.
I'll have to use it.
Thank you

giggledoll00
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Post by giggledoll00 » Thu Feb 07, 2008 7:26 pm

i hover over my som sometimes, but i try to give him his space, partily because i want to make it easaier for him to detach form me, i have been home with him for the past year, and spent the first year at homw with him (its a lot of dramam to explain) so basically out of his little 2 and a half years of life i've spent 2 at home with him, so mommy is his world, but also he get a temper if he doesn't get his way, and he knows mommy will always love him so he hits, and tries to bite, so i stay in the other room and just check up on him because it hurts. he actually bruised my arm 5 times in like 6 months, and they look bad - someone actually thought my bf did it because of how it looked. so i worry about how hes gonna be around other kids, but i think tat me telling him mommy doesn't want to play with you when u hurt her is helping, hes started just biting my shirt, not going thru to the skin.
behold the power of three

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Medical Astrology
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Post by Medical Astrology » Fri Mar 27, 2009 2:15 am

I love this description, 'helicopter partents'.... it is SO appropriate!
Today most parents would fit into this category.

Parenting advice would necessitate getting them to hover around less as helicopters and more as butterflies..... the latter delight in the nectar of flowers (children) without disturbing them in any way!
Dr. Jayashree Joshi, (MD) Physician and Herbalist
EXCLUSIVE FOCUS ON HEALTH ISSUES, with solutions through VEDIC ASTROLOGY.

Nanna
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Post by Nanna » Mon May 18, 2009 6:01 am

I am a helicopter grandma. Not as bad as doing everything for the grandkids. They cook for theirselves,etc etc. But I will not let them go out in the apartment complex and just to play unless I am out there watching them. Not because I don't trust them. Its because I don't trust the wierdos out there. Too many times children are snatched and today snatched from there bedrooms. I have seen other kids out there too. The parents aren't around and they uproot the bushes, hang on the branches until they rip down etc etc. When I was little, I would get up, eat breakfast and out to play. I didn't see my parents till dinner time. It was safe back then.
Nanna Knows

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Rook
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Post by Rook » Mon May 18, 2009 6:46 am

I think the term doesnt' so much apply to parents who watch their kids outside.  Like you say, there are a lot of weirdos out there.  I don't know that this is new, but perhaps we are more aware of the weidos than before, hence we protect our children more.

I have seen a helicopter parent, still functioning and flying when her daughter is a grown woman with her own family.  The grand-daughter too is becoming 'possessed' by this great family matriach, this woman sits, and tell the person what to say, how to act.  The daughter reminds me a lot of a hermit crab hiding in a shell.  Now I do that as well to a degree, but this is a sad thing to see.  A grown woman who can't make up her own mind on whether to have tea or coffee...

JelliedJonquil
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Post by JelliedJonquil » Tue Jun 09, 2009 9:58 am

Deborah says "I have a helicopter parent in my group now ........ they drive me nuts ..the child is 4 and they hover over her like she cant do anything ........funny she can zip , buckle and put her coat, gloves and boots on all by herself ..but last night when dad came she couldn't even figure out if her gloves go on her foot or hands!"

The sad thing about this is that maybe this girl knows it's the only way to get her fathers undivided attention.  There are people I know who don't bother with their children unless it's to chide or criticise and the children see that as attention.  Any attention, good or bad, is better than nothing in their eyes.

It's funny how the parents think by hovering over their children will do them the world of good when it damages them long term, or the child in question rebels.

Neat terminology, never heard of it 'til now.

JJ
Faith in oneself to believe in faith to believe in oneself.  JJ

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