2 yr Old Daughter's Bad Behavior

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southernrain55
Posts: 15
Joined: Wed May 16, 2012 4:58 am
Location: WV

2 yr Old Daughter's Bad Behavior

Post by southernrain55 » Thu May 17, 2012 5:31 pm

My daughter has an extreme problem with her temper and getting along well with others. She can be one of the smarted and kindest little girls, but other times, she is like a little volcano ready to erupt.

She lashes out to the point of hurting others. She is very aggressive and angry at times.

Background:
Her father and I have had a very rocky relationship and have finally ended it in Feb. of this year. He has moved out and now I keep a 3 yr old as well, 5 days a week.

Now:
My daughter gets angry very easily, jealous as well. She physically attacks the little girl that I watch each day. Pulling hair, pinching, hitting, kicking...I do not say this in a joking manner, she can deliver a blow almost like an adult. She also lashes out towards me, and has left bruises on numerous occasions.

Prevention:
I have repeatedly explained to her that we do not harm others, that we never make any one feel badly and we only do things that make others feel good.
I have used time out to control her and reprimand her for her actions.
I have actually gave her spankings...again to no avail.
I have did what others suggested by doing the same back to her, or allowing the other child to. If she were to pull hair, someone would pull her hair...etc

Current Outcome:
Nothing seems to be working, or at least on a long term. In no time she is doing it again. How can I teach her that it is wrong to physically or emotionally harm someone purposefully?


Any advice from an expert point of view or as another parent would be greatly appreciated.

ionezation
Posts: 188
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2012 12:22 pm
Location: karachi, pakistan

Post by ionezation » Sat May 19, 2012 9:53 pm

Well never mistreat any child because he/she doesnt know what is right and what is wrong ... show her my doing experiments and one thing you can you do it is to stop talking for a long time until she realize that she is guilty .... never punish the child, if she is angry in little age so she wont be so like that in mature age ... may i ask her zodiac ? she seems to be a Libra !
I wanna be a Palmist Astrologist and Numerologist ... just need your help to help you !

southernrain55
Posts: 15
Joined: Wed May 16, 2012 4:58 am
Location: WV

Post by southernrain55 » Sun May 20, 2012 5:52 am

Thank you for your reply.

I will definitely try what you said and appreciate you taking the time to write back.

She is actually a Cancer. June 26th.

Laluna6
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun May 20, 2012 2:26 am

Post by Laluna6 » Sun May 20, 2012 3:02 pm

She is only two years old. She still doesn't know how to properly express her feelings and a seperation is very hard on them. On top of this, you have a new child in your lives full time. However, do not let her act this way because you know she is going through a lot. Set very clear boundaries on acceptable behavior Stop the spanking, especially since you have seen it is not effective with her. Try positive reinforcement instead. Make good quality one-on-one time with her everyday. Show her that she is your heart, words would not be enough. Encourage more time with her father if possible. For discipline, she is almost three and this may depend on her level of comprehension, but try something visual. Make a few stars (start with maybe 3-5 and as she gets better move it down a bit)and hang them on a wall. Underneath, put a sticker chart. If she misbehaves, give her 1 warning but the second time, remove one of the big stars from wall. If she has one star left at the end of the day, put a sticker on the chart. Make it a really big deal. Set a number, such as 5 or 10 stickers gets a prize. It can be something as simple as a piece of candy just let her see how happy you are with her good behavior. This is very cheap and effective! You can also try introducing and defining feelings such as anger, sadness, and happiness. There are many children's books at the public library which could help you with this.

Best of luck!
Luna

southernrain55
Posts: 15
Joined: Wed May 16, 2012 4:58 am
Location: WV

Post by southernrain55 » Sun May 20, 2012 5:46 pm

Thank you, Luna for the WONDERFUL idea!
I think she would do very well with the stars. I appreciate your idea tremendously! I am going to give it a try this week and will report back how she is reacting with it!

RedMercury
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Post by RedMercury » Sat May 26, 2012 9:07 pm

A sense of compassion, kindness, attention to one's neighbor - is social skills. Children learn this only by examples. If you wish, what would your child showed them to others, begin actively, sometimes significantly, to show them to each other and to him. Well, for example, someone in your family hurt. You say, "Look, he's in pain. Come to spare." These feelings should be all family members to each other. You can feel sorry for a teddy bear, which fell, show compassion for the children at the site, if your child or someone made him ill.
It is useless to blame the child for what he collided with another slide. He has an age, when he sets the lead. If you do not teach it to the attention of a neighbor, he will continue the aggression on the sly. It is better to negotiate with the mother of another child, that she scolded yours. And you will save your and explain how to do: "He was bad. He fell. And his mother protects him. Come to spare. You did good. You do not want, that someone was hurt." No need to explain how not to do, but rather explain how to do it SHOULD.

For example, if your child went shoved someone - you say, "Kid hurt, let him spare. See what he is good. Do you want to play with him? Let's give him this toy." Directory of aggressive energy in a peaceful direction.

The concept of "impossible" for a child is a little different from ours. For a child can not - is that you can not physically do it (the moon, raise the rack, etc.). What can be done physically, but my mother says "no" - it turns out, mom is cheating, its credibility in the eyes of a child varies. In situations where the child hits the face, and my mother says "no", the kid hits again - Mom, look at the actual fact, it is possible, and you say you can not! Notes stern voice would not work here! You have your reactions and actions of a child the impression that such behavior is unacceptable. It is not necessary, of course, to beat him back, you can, for example, to intercept his hand, to develop a person from himself, or divert to another room, or get the most out of the room - that they themselves come up with, most importantly, that this be done firmly, calmly and confidently without the irritation and anger. Mischievous smile of a child suggests that your baby enjoys the show, you show it - Look, in response to my mom all the action so doing, changes the person's voice! Therefore, we must show either do not show or show one that the child does not like it. The word "no" (this is a general recommendation for the other cases) can be changed into other expressions such as "what we will not do," "do stupid", etc.

In general, the situation may be two. First, if there is someone else other than your home and the child sees that you hit a child, this person is fit and starts to feel sorry for her mother, that is, All attention is turning to the victim, not the abuser. How to pass a child, pet, sorry mom. Here it is important to no attention given to the child is. No need to say that fighting is bad, because it's pointless. Several times, seeing that his punches did not bring attention to him, and his mother, the child will have to think.

Second situation is when the house is unoccupied. Then once the child was bitten or hit sharply stand up, remove it from the hands, do not shout, do not swear, and do business quietly leave, saying his whole appearance that you were offended. The main thing the show did not start a child. Children are beaten, and because my mother to see how she swears, screams, that is, want of attention and fun show. So "break off" of the child in it. He wanted to see my mother cry out, to cry, scream, and you pushed him coolly, and went out on business. The child, of course, will check again, but your actions have to be exactly the same.

And yet - give a date, too, is impossible. The fact that you have a goal that the child does not bite (not fight). And if you do it in response to his biting, biting, too, will then be fixed in his mind that the bite can be every mother does. He did not connect the pain with the fact that he, too, was bitten. In other words, if you do not want your child to do something, do it you will never need to demonstrate to the child. Only in this case, undesirable form of behavior will go away.

First of all, we must understand that the negative behavior of the child does not come from the fact that it is bad. A child tries to behave differently and reinforces the behaviors that are popular with adults and for which no punishment. For example, the child pushed someone, everyone laughs and the child no words to say. He concludes that this form of behavior is normal that you are pushing to give pleasure to others. But if the mother that is pushed, grabbed your child would be sharply told him that my child can not hurt, and if you try again just would not let him on the mound, that's when the child is already making other findings. And my mom regrets it protects. Mom can not punish a child, she loves it all. Therefore, the most reasonable when other moms in the area, "declare war" you, for it hurts children, and you are saving it from them and say phrases like "I love you and always will defend, I will not give offense, but you did it, do not like other people, if you continue to do so on this site we will not start. "

Keep in mind that my mother was a defender and savior. Punishing your child, you only exacerbate aggressive behavior. Because the child will infer that fight, scream properly, because my mom does so sometimes.

southernrain55
Posts: 15
Joined: Wed May 16, 2012 4:58 am
Location: WV

Post by southernrain55 » Thu Jun 28, 2012 11:23 pm

THANK you so much for your reply!
I am happy to say that things are looking up here with my little one. I believe I have even pinpointed the root issue.

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s_coy2005
Posts: 58
Joined: Sun Jun 10, 2012 7:20 pm
Location: Virginia, USA

Re: 2 yr Old Daughter's Bad Behavior

Post by s_coy2005 » Fri Jun 29, 2012 12:50 pm

southernrain55 wrote:My daughter has an extreme problem with her temper and getting along well with others. She can be one of the smarted and kindest little girls, but other times, she is like a little volcano ready to erupt.She lashes out to the point of hurting others. She is very aggressive and angry at times.
Background:
Her father and I have had a very rocky relationship and have finally ended it in Feb. of this year. He has moved out and now I keep a 3 yr old as well, 5 days a week.
Now:
My daughter gets angry very easily, jealous as well. She physically attacks the little girl that I watch each day. Pulling hair, pinching, hitting, kicking...I do not say this in a joking manner, she can deliver a blow almost like an adult. She also lashes out towards me, and has left bruises on numerous occasions.
Prevention:
I have repeatedly explained to her that we do not harm others, that we never make any one feel badly and we only do things that make others feel good.
I have used time out to control her and reprimand her for her actions.
I have actually gave her spankings...again to no avail.
I have did what others suggested by doing the same back to her, or allowing the other child to. If she were to pull hair, someone would pull her hair...etc
Current Outcome:
Nothing seems to be working, or at least on a long term. In no time she is doing it again. How can I teach her that it is wrong to physically or emotionally harm someone purposefully?
Any advice from an expert point of view or as another parent would be greatly appreciated.
Shes 2.. She really doesnt know any better.. I have a 5 year old and at 2 she was running around getting into stuff.. Yelling screaming and all that.. Once your little girl gets older she will learn how to manage herself all you have to do is have patience and give your child love.. Even tho it seems that nothing is working just try and understand your child a bit..  :) see with me i babied her and i still do.. i dont see a problem with it.. so much parents are distant from their kids now adays because they work. but me im always all over my baby girl. i love her so much! :) all i can tell you is to maybe take some parenting classes me i didnt and im fine or just do your best and just let your child grow up a bit i guarantee in like 2 years she will be a lot better behaved.
I am absolutely AWESOME!

User avatar
s_coy2005
Posts: 58
Joined: Sun Jun 10, 2012 7:20 pm
Location: Virginia, USA

Post by s_coy2005 » Fri Jun 29, 2012 12:53 pm

RedMercury wrote:A sense of compassion, kindness, attention to one's neighbor - is social skills. Children learn this only by examples. If you wish, what would your child showed them to others, begin actively, sometimes significantly, to show them to each other and to him. Well, for example, someone in your family hurt. You say, "Look, he's in pain. Come to spare." These feelings should be all family members to each other. You can feel sorry for a teddy bear, which fell, show compassion for the children at the site, if your child or someone made him ill.
It is useless to blame the child for what he collided with another slide. He has an age, when he sets the lead. If you do not teach it to the attention of a neighbor, he will continue the aggression on the sly. It is better to negotiate with the mother of another child, that she scolded yours. And you will save your and explain how to do: "He was bad. He fell. And his mother protects him. Come to spare. You did good. You do not want, that someone was hurt." No need to explain how not to do, but rather explain how to do it SHOULD.

For example, if your child went shoved someone - you say, "Kid hurt, let him spare. See what he is good. Do you want to play with him? Let's give him this toy." Directory of aggressive energy in a peaceful direction.

The concept of "impossible" for a child is a little different from ours. For a child can not - is that you can not physically do it (the moon, raise the rack, etc.). What can be done physically, but my mother says "no" - it turns out, mom is cheating, its credibility in the eyes of a child varies. In situations where the child hits the face, and my mother says "no", the kid hits again - Mom, look at the actual fact, it is possible, and you say you can not! Notes stern voice would not work here! You have your reactions and actions of a child the impression that such behavior is unacceptable. It is not necessary, of course, to beat him back, you can, for example, to intercept his hand, to develop a person from himself, or divert to another room, or get the most out of the room - that they themselves come up with, most importantly, that this be done firmly, calmly and confidently without the irritation and anger. Mischievous smile of a child suggests that your baby enjoys the show, you show it - Look, in response to my mom all the action so doing, changes the person's voice! Therefore, we must show either do not show or show one that the child does not like it. The word "no" (this is a general recommendation for the other cases) can be changed into other expressions such as "what we will not do," "do stupid", etc.

In general, the situation may be two. First, if there is someone else other than your home and the child sees that you hit a child, this person is fit and starts to feel sorry for her mother, that is, All attention is turning to the victim, not the abuser. How to pass a child, pet, sorry mom. Here it is important to no attention given to the child is. No need to say that fighting is bad, because it's pointless. Several times, seeing that his punches did not bring attention to him, and his mother, the child will have to think.

Second situation is when the house is unoccupied. Then once the child was bitten or hit sharply stand up, remove it from the hands, do not shout, do not swear, and do business quietly leave, saying his whole appearance that you were offended. The main thing the show did not start a child. Children are beaten, and because my mother to see how she swears, screams, that is, want of attention and fun show. So "break off" of the child in it. He wanted to see my mother cry out, to cry, scream, and you pushed him coolly, and went out on business. The child, of course, will check again, but your actions have to be exactly the same.

And yet - give a date, too, is impossible. The fact that you have a goal that the child does not bite (not fight). And if you do it in response to his biting, biting, too, will then be fixed in his mind that the bite can be every mother does. He did not connect the pain with the fact that he, too, was bitten. In other words, if you do not want your child to do something, do it you will never need to demonstrate to the child. Only in this case, undesirable form of behavior will go away.

First of all, we must understand that the negative behavior of the child does not come from the fact that it is bad. A child tries to behave differently and reinforces the behaviors that are popular with adults and for which no punishment. For example, the child pushed someone, everyone laughs and the child no words to say. He concludes that this form of behavior is normal that you are pushing to give pleasure to others. But if the mother that is pushed, grabbed your child would be sharply told him that my child can not hurt, and if you try again just would not let him on the mound, that's when the child is already making other findings. And my mom regrets it protects. Mom can not punish a child, she loves it all. Therefore, the most reasonable when other moms in the area, "declare war" you, for it hurts children, and you are saving it from them and say phrases like "I love you and always will defend, I will not give offense, but you did it, do not like other people, if you continue to do so on this site we will not start. "

Keep in mind that my mother was a defender and savior. Punishing your child, you only exacerbate aggressive behavior. Because the child will infer that fight, scream properly, because my mom does so sometimes.
wow nice reply ill take this advice too :)
I am absolutely AWESOME!

symulhaque
Posts: 1204
Joined: Thu Jan 03, 2013 3:41 pm

Post by symulhaque » Tue Jan 29, 2013 3:33 pm

She is so much tender to do a mistake dear.

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