Why is it that when a child has a tantrum, people think that means the kid is a spoiled brat?

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sfombom
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Why is it that when a child has a tantrum, people think that means the kid is a spoiled brat?

Post by sfombom » Wed Jul 04, 2012 1:17 am

I was at Target yesterday with my 4 and a half year old daughter who has Aspergers.She was tired and she had a tantrum.A woman passed by me and i heard her saying:Look at her!She can't discipline her kid and she's letting her be a spoiled brat.

I wanted to tell her something but my daughter was more important and i had to calm her.
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eye_of_tiger
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People like her do not deserve any of your spare energy or attention

Post by eye_of_tiger » Mon Oct 29, 2012 10:20 pm

People like her do not deserve any of your spare energy or attention.

Being the nearly 60 year old father of a 26 year old man who also has Asperger's Syndrome and temper tantrums, I recognised long ago that people such as that woman really have no concept of what it is like for both your daughter and yourself to have to constantly be the target for people who do not know the first thing about what caring 24/7 for a person with this condition actually involves.

And to be perfectly honest they do not want to know and seem to enjoy making false assumptions about us and placing the blame for their total lack of empathy squarely upon our shoulders.

Temper tantrums in four and a half year olds are by no means confined to children with AS, but when you see the same thing happening with a 26 year old man you definitely get the idea that AS temper tantrums are something way out of the ordinary, and that they are partly a response to their frustration and confusion in what seems to be much more than to an average person who does not have AS, a world which makes no sense at all.

Do not if you ever get the opportunity try to change their minds and get them to see what damage they are doing to your self confidence as a loving mother, as people like her are so fixed in their ways and opinions, that not even God himself has a chance of making them accept what they do not wish to see and hear.

And that is that temper tantrums are a perfectly normal symptom of any child's development. Continuously testing the boundaries of what their parents are willing to do to keep the peace by often giving into their unreasonable and unaffordable demands is what children and some adults do, whether or not they have Asperger Syndrome.

I will lay a bet that the woman did the same thing to her parents on many occasions, although she would never admit this to your face.

It is easier said than done, but try to ignore people like her as you have a big enough job on your hands with your daughter, and must save your energies mainly for the both of you.

Remember to take some time out each day (it will be better when she begins school) for yourself to recharge your batteries, as if you allow your health and peace of mind to suffer, what help are you going to be to your daughter from a hospital bed or early grave?

She needs you now more than ever, so please take good care of yourself as well as of her.

Love, Light and Healing,

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fisk_82
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Post by fisk_82 » Sun Nov 04, 2012 3:59 am

@sfombom.. Sometimes people like that.. they just see a piece and think that they understand the whole picture and more than ready to make a critic in one second :D.. I think the best of it is ignoring it. You won't meet the person again, right? You will just spend your energy by being angry.. And about the kids, it's a quite normal behavior for a four to show a rebellious behavior.. That's a part of being kids at that age group :D

happylemoncarpets
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TV is a spoiler

Post by happylemoncarpets » Mon Jan 07, 2013 4:28 am

I believe it is because there are so many parents these days who don't correctly raise their kids. Kids see so much TV these days that they want everything they see, and expect it. Especially when the kids are "trying to keep up with the Jones". Less TV, more quiet time and social interaction.
"It ain't braggin' if it's true!" - Cassius Clay

symulhaque
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Post by symulhaque » Tue Jan 29, 2013 3:29 pm

You just ignore what she was saying..

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