COW TIPPING.......... MYTH OR FACT ????
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- m00nshadow
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COW TIPPING.......... MYTH OR FACT ????
I have always wondered, is cow tipping a real event that pranksters take part in around the farms ?
- m00nshadow
- Posts: 124
- Joined: Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:34 am
How to go cow tipping
Ayleen Lindahl
Introduction
Cow tipping is an art in itself. It began many years ago, when a young boy of the name of Tipper decided to make a cow more comfortable as it slept. Thinking that standing while sleeping was cruel and unusual, he set out one night to give 'ol Betsy a rest. Tragically, Tipper fell into a thick cow pie as he tried making his way back to his warm bed. He ended up going to the hospital with a severe paranoia of cows. The next day, his family had a big steak dinner.
For generations after, Texans have engaged in this heightening activity. Young children dream of it during their algebra classes, the rites to passage so close and in their reach. As the 16th birthday approaches, all your peers will gather and perform this ritual with breathless anticipation.
Supplies
2 12-packs of Beer
Black clothing
Boots (Around cow pastures, wear boots that can be hosed down)
Wire cutters and a flashlight
Your friends Dave and Jerry
Setup
Drive Dave and Jerry to the pasture, hand them the beer.
Wait ten minutes for them to finish up both packs.
Help Dave from truck.
Help Dave review his lunch.
Place wire cutters in back pocket, and make sure all black clothing is being worn.
Quietly approach fence to pasture.
Ask Dave for the flashlight. Run back to truck and retrieve flashlight.
Cut fencing and wiggle through.
Stay hunkered down and try not to giggle as you approach the nearest cow.
Beam flashlight quickly into the cow's eyes. If no reaction, you are good to go. Skip ahead to Tipping the cow.
If cow bucks, sending Jerry screaming like a woman back to the truck, go on to next step.
Run after Jerry, tumble him to ground and hold hand over his mouth.
Wait 20 minutes for Farmer to look out the front door and Holler at wolves.
Find another cow, repeating the last 5 steps until you find one sleeping.
Tipping the cow
Have Dave hold the bottom of cow on one side. (Bottom of the cow is right under the ribs, and on the soft part of the belly.)
Have Jerry beside you, with both palms against cows upper back on opposite side. (See Figure 1)
Count to three, and PUSH!
Back up quickly from the cow, as its legs will fly up toward your face.
Slap high fives to Jerry and shout your success.
Find out what whimpering sound is.
With Jerry's help, pull Dave out from under the cow.
Run from farmer. (Duck when you hear shots in the air.)
Jump into the truck and speed away into the night.
Congratulations
You have successfully completed your training in Cow Tipping. You are closer to being a true Texan! The next step to your initiation is How to eat cow fries.
=======
What NOT to do while tipping a cow.
Do not wear red. Bulls are in the area.
Do not tug on the tail to check on sleeping status.
Do not make "moo" sounds. This only aggravates them.
Do not try to ride the cow like a horse.
Do not try to milk the cow.
Do not make friends with the cow. Remember, you are there to TIP the cow, not buy it a drink.
Do not dress cow up in a pink tutu. They like purple.
Do not eat a burger in front of the cow. They have feelings too!
Other suggestions
If the fence is making a buzzing sound, do not attempt to cut. If you do, you will have frizzy hair for the next few days.
If the fence is making a buzzing sound and may be electrified, do NOT attempt to relieve yourself on it. I have seen this happen. It's NOT pretty.
Make sure you bring the good truck. This is supposed to be done quietly. Do not have a truck that backfires like a rifle. Cows will awaken.
Make sure it IS a cow. If it has horns, and no udders, Back off with caution.
Remember poor Tipper. Beware of cow pies.
Recap of past lessons
How to spit chew into an empty coke bottle, while keeping the cool cowboy stance.
How to distinguish a Stetson from a children's plastic cowboy hat.
When to say "ya'll", "fixin' to", and "Yeehaw".
How to make your brand new truck look like "old faithful".
How to keep up with your past wives or husbands (Make sure to have at least four).
Click on cow to tip!
(Figure 1)
Fellow cow lovers web sites
Song of Cow tipping.
http://www.cs.umb.edu/~eugene/cow.html
The grazing spot (A few tips on cow tipping)
http://user1.stritch.edu/~tblum/cow.html
Bobs cow page, very educational.
http://www.ieatcrayons.com/
Ayleen Lindahl
Introduction
Cow tipping is an art in itself. It began many years ago, when a young boy of the name of Tipper decided to make a cow more comfortable as it slept. Thinking that standing while sleeping was cruel and unusual, he set out one night to give 'ol Betsy a rest. Tragically, Tipper fell into a thick cow pie as he tried making his way back to his warm bed. He ended up going to the hospital with a severe paranoia of cows. The next day, his family had a big steak dinner.
For generations after, Texans have engaged in this heightening activity. Young children dream of it during their algebra classes, the rites to passage so close and in their reach. As the 16th birthday approaches, all your peers will gather and perform this ritual with breathless anticipation.
Supplies
2 12-packs of Beer
Black clothing
Boots (Around cow pastures, wear boots that can be hosed down)
Wire cutters and a flashlight
Your friends Dave and Jerry
Setup
Drive Dave and Jerry to the pasture, hand them the beer.
Wait ten minutes for them to finish up both packs.
Help Dave from truck.
Help Dave review his lunch.
Place wire cutters in back pocket, and make sure all black clothing is being worn.
Quietly approach fence to pasture.
Ask Dave for the flashlight. Run back to truck and retrieve flashlight.
Cut fencing and wiggle through.
Stay hunkered down and try not to giggle as you approach the nearest cow.
Beam flashlight quickly into the cow's eyes. If no reaction, you are good to go. Skip ahead to Tipping the cow.
If cow bucks, sending Jerry screaming like a woman back to the truck, go on to next step.
Run after Jerry, tumble him to ground and hold hand over his mouth.
Wait 20 minutes for Farmer to look out the front door and Holler at wolves.
Find another cow, repeating the last 5 steps until you find one sleeping.
Tipping the cow
Have Dave hold the bottom of cow on one side. (Bottom of the cow is right under the ribs, and on the soft part of the belly.)
Have Jerry beside you, with both palms against cows upper back on opposite side. (See Figure 1)
Count to three, and PUSH!
Back up quickly from the cow, as its legs will fly up toward your face.
Slap high fives to Jerry and shout your success.
Find out what whimpering sound is.
With Jerry's help, pull Dave out from under the cow.
Run from farmer. (Duck when you hear shots in the air.)
Jump into the truck and speed away into the night.
Congratulations
You have successfully completed your training in Cow Tipping. You are closer to being a true Texan! The next step to your initiation is How to eat cow fries.
=======
What NOT to do while tipping a cow.
Do not wear red. Bulls are in the area.
Do not tug on the tail to check on sleeping status.
Do not make "moo" sounds. This only aggravates them.
Do not try to ride the cow like a horse.
Do not try to milk the cow.
Do not make friends with the cow. Remember, you are there to TIP the cow, not buy it a drink.
Do not dress cow up in a pink tutu. They like purple.
Do not eat a burger in front of the cow. They have feelings too!
Other suggestions
If the fence is making a buzzing sound, do not attempt to cut. If you do, you will have frizzy hair for the next few days.
If the fence is making a buzzing sound and may be electrified, do NOT attempt to relieve yourself on it. I have seen this happen. It's NOT pretty.
Make sure you bring the good truck. This is supposed to be done quietly. Do not have a truck that backfires like a rifle. Cows will awaken.
Make sure it IS a cow. If it has horns, and no udders, Back off with caution.
Remember poor Tipper. Beware of cow pies.
Recap of past lessons
How to spit chew into an empty coke bottle, while keeping the cool cowboy stance.
How to distinguish a Stetson from a children's plastic cowboy hat.
When to say "ya'll", "fixin' to", and "Yeehaw".
How to make your brand new truck look like "old faithful".
How to keep up with your past wives or husbands (Make sure to have at least four).
Click on cow to tip!
(Figure 1)
Fellow cow lovers web sites
Song of Cow tipping.
http://www.cs.umb.edu/~eugene/cow.html
The grazing spot (A few tips on cow tipping)
http://user1.stritch.edu/~tblum/cow.html
Bobs cow page, very educational.
http://www.ieatcrayons.com/
In scotland in the borders certain drunk farmers will push over cows during the night. Personally I think, poor cow, stupid young farmers.
Enjoy when you can and endure when you must.
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OMG this is hillarious!
I live on a farm --------------- and um yes it happens
what usually happens is you have a group of teens who go around pushing cows over .. (yes usually they have been drinking)
and growing up in this area ...........I would say the supplies needed (pack of beer) is a necessity to have had BEFORE you go cow tippin ............usually what happens is u find one moron of a guy who wants to show off and u get him drunk and then u send him to a field ..............
and if you see the farmers lights come on ...............RUN LIKE HELL!
I live on a farm --------------- and um yes it happens
what usually happens is you have a group of teens who go around pushing cows over .. (yes usually they have been drinking)
and growing up in this area ...........I would say the supplies needed (pack of beer) is a necessity to have had BEFORE you go cow tippin ............usually what happens is u find one moron of a guy who wants to show off and u get him drunk and then u send him to a field ..............
and if you see the farmers lights come on ...............RUN LIKE HELL!
Deborah wrote:OMG this is hillarious!
I live on a farm --------------- and um yes it happens
what usually happens is you have a group of teens who go around pushing cows over .. (yes usually they have been drinking)
and growing up in this area ...........I would say the supplies needed (pack of beer) is a necessity to have had BEFORE you go cow tippin ............usually what happens is u find one moron of a guy who wants to show off and u get him drunk and then u send him to a field ..............
and if you see the farmers lights come on ...............RUN LIKE HELL!
Bursting laughing~!!
omg, we live around farms now..
Use to live in the city, but nope we moved to God's country...
Now if I see lights on at farms I will start laughing..
But no there barns are all lit up for the barn criders....
ps,
LoL @ m00n on hs cow tipping questions... ROFL
LOL@Deb :smt006
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- Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2007 4:16 pm
Animal Abuse
Why do not people think before they act?
Cow Tipping is not a nice thing to do-
Animal cruelity!
On recent news horses have been left out and were starving to death as no one was taking care of them- two men were arrested as a result.
A 61 year old man was arrested at his home because he had over 100 cats - some were alive and others were dead and his house was litterly full of animal waste up to 3 inches or more-
Not any of this is funny and should not even be made a joke of.
Animals have feelings as well
There are many dogs that used to be cute cuddly puppies and when they grew bigger they were put out on a chain away from the home and forgotten about -
Nothing funny about those stories- why is cow tipping so funny?
Cow Tipping is not a nice thing to do-
Animal cruelity!
On recent news horses have been left out and were starving to death as no one was taking care of them- two men were arrested as a result.
A 61 year old man was arrested at his home because he had over 100 cats - some were alive and others were dead and his house was litterly full of animal waste up to 3 inches or more-
Not any of this is funny and should not even be made a joke of.
Animals have feelings as well
There are many dogs that used to be cute cuddly puppies and when they grew bigger they were put out on a chain away from the home and forgotten about -
Nothing funny about those stories- why is cow tipping so funny?
LKB
I think there is a big difference between cow tipping and killing animals or animal neglect.
Cow tipping is something thats done rarely and by pissed men generally. Cows get rudely woken but they are neither starved or overbred and left in their own excrement. Cows fortunately can stand back up themselves.
I think your making too general a comparison between animal neglect and human stupidity.
Cows don't have feelings in the same way human beings do by the way, if they did then they would obviously be the superior race and it would be us thats being tipped out of our tree in the middle of the night by drunk bulls on their way home from the pub.
Cow tipping is something thats done rarely and by pissed men generally. Cows get rudely woken but they are neither starved or overbred and left in their own excrement. Cows fortunately can stand back up themselves.
I think your making too general a comparison between animal neglect and human stupidity.
Cows don't have feelings in the same way human beings do by the way, if they did then they would obviously be the superior race and it would be us thats being tipped out of our tree in the middle of the night by drunk bulls on their way home from the pub.
Enjoy when you can and endure when you must.
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How do you know that the cows or any other animals have no feelings?
Every living thing has feelings-
If they are hurt, they cry- the same as any human would. Just because people can not understand the language of animals when they speak does not make them any less than superior.
I have 3 cats and they laugh and talk all of the time and they have their own way to communicate what they want and they usually get their way as they are persistant.
If someone came and knocked you down you would not think that would be so funny and if you weighed over a 500 pounds and had no one to help you back up- yeah that is very cruel.
LOL
Every living thing has feelings-
If they are hurt, they cry- the same as any human would. Just because people can not understand the language of animals when they speak does not make them any less than superior.
I have 3 cats and they laugh and talk all of the time and they have their own way to communicate what they want and they usually get their way as they are persistant.
If someone came and knocked you down you would not think that would be so funny and if you weighed over a 500 pounds and had no one to help you back up- yeah that is very cruel.
LOL
LKB
I think if i weighed over 500 pounds I would be going on a diet before sainsbury's decided to butcher me for my meat.
Enjoy when you can and endure when you must.
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- m00nshadow
- Posts: 124
- Joined: Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:34 am
Wow, let me first start off by saying im BIG on anaimal rights. When I first started this post, it was to be something funny. I actually had no idea if cow tipping actually happened. I had heard stories about it, but I had never seen it.
I never dreamed that this post would turn into a debate about animal abuse. However I don't see how tipping a cow over can be animal abuse.
Instead of trying to make this an animal abuse case when its not. You should focus on real animal abuse. Like commercial farmers, chicken farmers that raise chickens. Their chickens are in cages so small they can't move. All they do all day long is lay egges. THen if thats not bad enough, they feed them growth hormones that makes the chickens grow so big that their legs can support the wieght. At that point they are sent to the slaughter houses for their meat. I wont even get into what happens to the chicken at the slaughter house while they are still alive. And all this is done just to feed people.
I don't mean to offend anybody at all. If I did than I am turely sorry. I seen PETA videos (People for the ethical treatment of Animals) of what happens to animals on farms and at the slaughter houses. It turely sickens me.
I never dreamed that this post would turn into a debate about animal abuse. However I don't see how tipping a cow over can be animal abuse.
Instead of trying to make this an animal abuse case when its not. You should focus on real animal abuse. Like commercial farmers, chicken farmers that raise chickens. Their chickens are in cages so small they can't move. All they do all day long is lay egges. THen if thats not bad enough, they feed them growth hormones that makes the chickens grow so big that their legs can support the wieght. At that point they are sent to the slaughter houses for their meat. I wont even get into what happens to the chicken at the slaughter house while they are still alive. And all this is done just to feed people.
I don't mean to offend anybody at all. If I did than I am turely sorry. I seen PETA videos (People for the ethical treatment of Animals) of what happens to animals on farms and at the slaughter houses. It turely sickens me.
I read this thread and groaned, what on earth is it doing in here?
With battery chickens, why not make sure that you don't buy eggs or products that contain eggs such as Hellmanns mayonaise or Kiplings cakes and only buy things made from free range hens eggs?
Buy only organic chickens or free range ones.
Many of the animals die, suffocated by their own weight :( They aren't slaughtered humanely for meat or any useful reason but die from a prank! Many slowly and painfully die over night or have to be shot in the morning! Thats how the farmers and authorities know that its happening, if the cows could get up then no one would know... Isn't that abuse?However I don't see how tipping a cow over can be animal abuse.
With battery chickens, why not make sure that you don't buy eggs or products that contain eggs such as Hellmanns mayonaise or Kiplings cakes and only buy things made from free range hens eggs?
Buy only organic chickens or free range ones.
funnily enough I thought this topic was finished when the author put up an apology and request that we stop discussing this topic.
Enjoy when you can and endure when you must.
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- m00nshadow
- Posts: 124
- Joined: Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:34 am
Gem wrote:I read this thread and groaned, what on earth is it doing in here?
Many of the animals die, suffocated by their own weight :( They aren't slaughtered humanely for meat or any useful reason but die from a prank! Many slowly and painfully die over night or have to be shot in the morning! Thats how the farmers and authorities know that its happening, if the cows could get up then no one would know... Isn't that abuse?However I don't see how tipping a cow over can be animal abuse.
With battery chickens, why not make sure that you don't buy eggs or products that contain eggs such as Hellmanns mayonaise or Kiplings cakes and only buy things made from free range hens eggs?
Buy only organic chickens or free range ones.
Ok Gem it's obvious that you have no clue what you are talking about. Since I did not start the cow abuse topic, I saw where it was going and tried to stop it. You came by and started up again. You may intimadate other people, but you wont do it to me!!!! Thats a promise.
I am sorry, I didn't see any such request anywhere? But I did see a comment sayingsuzisco wrote:funnily enough I thought this topic was finished when the author put up an apology and request that we stop discussing this topic.
and I replied to that stating how it was in no uncertain terms abuse! many animals have fractured ribs when their weight is suddenly flung to the ground. Its not funny at all.However I don't see how tipping a cow over can be animal abuse.
I see that you still chose to ignore the authors last coment as well. It would be nice if you respected his wishes.
Enjoy when you can and endure when you must.
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