How do I expose myself (my heart) to feelings?
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earthfairy
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Fri Feb 09, 2007 2:49 am
- Location: wild and wonderful, wv
How do I expose myself (my heart) to feelings?
I've closed off alot of my feelings due to several things that have occured in my life. I am a very kind person to many people but I don't really feel "the feelings." I know this is interfering with me attaining my true spiritual self. I want to experience that calmness and true love that I see in many people. I was wondering if anyone has gone through this and what they did to change or if anyone has any ideas. Thanks. earthfairy
Earthfairy,
After much thougth I return to give my replie. :smt002
I was a little confussed in the thought that feelings alone were needed for one to reach attunement for their spiritual self. Understanding that everyone deals with things in their own way. I have shut down from time to time, but it didn't change the fact that my Guardian was still present. In fact he was around more often in those times. So when I shut off this world, I felt him even more. It was finding a balance between the two. So very hard, and I have my moments sometimes weeks, months, etc. ;) I am stubborn like that.
I was taught that the reason we have those emotional blocks was to prevent an emotional overload. When our mind is not in line to handle the reasonings. Somethings in life that happen, there is no logic. Such horrible events, that cause us to shut down. So we can cope. It was by taking baby steps, to get to the roots. The more I understood myself the more I was able to move through without a complete shut down. If you feel that you are not ready, then you probably are not. By forcing oneself to do it before they are, it is like forcing a flower bud to open. The mind is delecate as it is complex. There are safety triggers in place to help us from going out there and having a break down. And honestly, although I have much peace, and things are more clear. I still have my moments. I am human after all. :smt002 True love is loving yourself. When you look in the mirror to you love that being you see? I used to use this therapy to help me. I would step outside of myself, and see myself in the mirror. I would gaze and see myself in the mirror. I would talk to her like I so longed to be talked to. Her smile was my smile. Complimenting her eyes, for I love them so much. Her beauty, but she doesn't see it. Sounds a bit nuts, but it helped with feeling again. I then understood how I could love all people. And do not feel as hurt when they are doing things that may try to wound me. Because the woman in the mirror is wise, and very strong. This is me after all. Having to first let myself feel love for myself. Without guilt, without reservation.
When most women and men look in the mirror they will see all that they need to change. Finding flaws. Now when we start to reprogram how we look in the mirror, we can also see our strengths. First I started with physical, then I turned inward. Gazing into my eyes I could pierce my own spirit, like I do with so many others. Another reason I found that people may feel uncomfortable when I lock eyes with them. Anyways, when I started looking in my eyes and seeing my spirit, something happened. I started to feel these warm sensations. This energy that I knew was familar. I longed so badly for it. Took a while to figure out this was my own energy, my own spirit...lol. I came away more peaceful. This was a process that helped me to unlock my own self. And slowly I learned to deal with the trama endured as a child, without lossing control of my feelings. Another reason I choose to shut my feelings down. Feeling helpless, and lack of control! But I have control. I choose to be angry, hurt, happy, or peaceful. I learned that I cannot control other people's spirit, which was the hardest lesson. So when they are being mean, or hateful this is not a thing I have to take on as my own. Let them spew out there spiteful words. Those negative vibes. It doesn't hurt my spirit if I choose not to let it. And I am alot stronger than I gave myself credit for. We all are. So when I see others struggle and I want to help, I do. But I have to remind myself not to let myself get pulled down. Sucked in. This means I can still feel for them, but not to let it endanger my spirit. I remind myself that this is their spirit just growing, to try to not take it so personal. But this is hard to do. I still struggle with that one.
These are just helpful things that helped me along the way. Perhaps it may help others who are trying to intune their mind, body, and spirit. To acheive the balance. Feelings are destructive, as they are wonderful. Keeping it in check. People do not need to be warm and fuzzie to show that they love people. We all show it differently. We all feel differently. Just like I love it nice and toasty, some may perfer cool temperatures.
So if your spirit is a cool weather spirit who doesn't feel all those warm fuzzies, that is your spirit. Nothing wrong with that if that is your true self. My partner is very loving, but very cold. But I love his spirit so. :smt003 To my knowledge he doesn't feel those warm fuzzies eighter. But will feel guilty for not being what he thinks he should be. I ask, what do you think you are suppose to be? Dunno, he replies. Well how the heck do you know if you are not already that person, or spirit? Hmmmm. I am rambling again. My appologies.
Safe Journey
I came back to add that this took many, many years. Keeping in mind that the things that happened occured over a very long period of time. The key to remember is not to compete with others, I only compete with myself. I cannot watch the road, if I am too busy watching the other lanes of traffic. Looking at their flashy, fast cars. I just might miss that thing that blew into my lane that I need to avoid. Or the exit comming up that I need to take to get where I need to go. Kinda like that.
It will take even more years to get where I wish to be. So I cannot let myself become discouraged. There is no quick fix for a broken heart, mind or spirit. Like a bone, it takes much time to mend. And in that time, it is more likely to get re-broke if not handled properly.
After much thougth I return to give my replie. :smt002
I was a little confussed in the thought that feelings alone were needed for one to reach attunement for their spiritual self. Understanding that everyone deals with things in their own way. I have shut down from time to time, but it didn't change the fact that my Guardian was still present. In fact he was around more often in those times. So when I shut off this world, I felt him even more. It was finding a balance between the two. So very hard, and I have my moments sometimes weeks, months, etc. ;) I am stubborn like that.
I was taught that the reason we have those emotional blocks was to prevent an emotional overload. When our mind is not in line to handle the reasonings. Somethings in life that happen, there is no logic. Such horrible events, that cause us to shut down. So we can cope. It was by taking baby steps, to get to the roots. The more I understood myself the more I was able to move through without a complete shut down. If you feel that you are not ready, then you probably are not. By forcing oneself to do it before they are, it is like forcing a flower bud to open. The mind is delecate as it is complex. There are safety triggers in place to help us from going out there and having a break down. And honestly, although I have much peace, and things are more clear. I still have my moments. I am human after all. :smt002 True love is loving yourself. When you look in the mirror to you love that being you see? I used to use this therapy to help me. I would step outside of myself, and see myself in the mirror. I would gaze and see myself in the mirror. I would talk to her like I so longed to be talked to. Her smile was my smile. Complimenting her eyes, for I love them so much. Her beauty, but she doesn't see it. Sounds a bit nuts, but it helped with feeling again. I then understood how I could love all people. And do not feel as hurt when they are doing things that may try to wound me. Because the woman in the mirror is wise, and very strong. This is me after all. Having to first let myself feel love for myself. Without guilt, without reservation.
When most women and men look in the mirror they will see all that they need to change. Finding flaws. Now when we start to reprogram how we look in the mirror, we can also see our strengths. First I started with physical, then I turned inward. Gazing into my eyes I could pierce my own spirit, like I do with so many others. Another reason I found that people may feel uncomfortable when I lock eyes with them. Anyways, when I started looking in my eyes and seeing my spirit, something happened. I started to feel these warm sensations. This energy that I knew was familar. I longed so badly for it. Took a while to figure out this was my own energy, my own spirit...lol. I came away more peaceful. This was a process that helped me to unlock my own self. And slowly I learned to deal with the trama endured as a child, without lossing control of my feelings. Another reason I choose to shut my feelings down. Feeling helpless, and lack of control! But I have control. I choose to be angry, hurt, happy, or peaceful. I learned that I cannot control other people's spirit, which was the hardest lesson. So when they are being mean, or hateful this is not a thing I have to take on as my own. Let them spew out there spiteful words. Those negative vibes. It doesn't hurt my spirit if I choose not to let it. And I am alot stronger than I gave myself credit for. We all are. So when I see others struggle and I want to help, I do. But I have to remind myself not to let myself get pulled down. Sucked in. This means I can still feel for them, but not to let it endanger my spirit. I remind myself that this is their spirit just growing, to try to not take it so personal. But this is hard to do. I still struggle with that one.
These are just helpful things that helped me along the way. Perhaps it may help others who are trying to intune their mind, body, and spirit. To acheive the balance. Feelings are destructive, as they are wonderful. Keeping it in check. People do not need to be warm and fuzzie to show that they love people. We all show it differently. We all feel differently. Just like I love it nice and toasty, some may perfer cool temperatures.
So if your spirit is a cool weather spirit who doesn't feel all those warm fuzzies, that is your spirit. Nothing wrong with that if that is your true self. My partner is very loving, but very cold. But I love his spirit so. :smt003 To my knowledge he doesn't feel those warm fuzzies eighter. But will feel guilty for not being what he thinks he should be. I ask, what do you think you are suppose to be? Dunno, he replies. Well how the heck do you know if you are not already that person, or spirit? Hmmmm. I am rambling again. My appologies.
Safe Journey
I came back to add that this took many, many years. Keeping in mind that the things that happened occured over a very long period of time. The key to remember is not to compete with others, I only compete with myself. I cannot watch the road, if I am too busy watching the other lanes of traffic. Looking at their flashy, fast cars. I just might miss that thing that blew into my lane that I need to avoid. Or the exit comming up that I need to take to get where I need to go. Kinda like that.
It will take even more years to get where I wish to be. So I cannot let myself become discouraged. There is no quick fix for a broken heart, mind or spirit. Like a bone, it takes much time to mend. And in that time, it is more likely to get re-broke if not handled properly.
Hi, Earthfairy,
Although the phrase is kind of a cliche at this point, practicing "random acts of kindness" is, I believe, a good way to start opening up your heart to feeling that love and the peace that comes with it.
Sometimes it's easier to give than receive. Finding little ways (and nothing is too small--just do whatever you feel moved to do by love) to give love and compassion to OTHERS, I've found, acts something like a wave--you send it out, and it comes right back to you. It all sounds very New-Agey and abstract, but that's not how I mean it. Just look around you, wherever you are, and open your eyes to the concrete ways that you can offer love. For example, if you see a homeless person, perhaps offer not only a dollar or two, but a genuine smile and a few kind words. If you see a sick or injured animal, take care of it, or put it in a place where it can be safe. If you're at a social gathering and see that someone is feeling left out or uncomfortable, make an effort to include him or her.
You say you are a kind person, but still don't "feel the feelings." If you are kind, it's coming from somewhere, even if you don't think it feels "real". Maybe it would help to not have expectations of what it "should" feel like, and just accept whatever feelings come or don't come while you're making that effort to be even more kind (even after all of the difficulties you've had in your own life--that makes the kindness worth even more, in my opinion). Keep making a conscious effort to show love and compassion every chance you get, and eventually, I think, it will all start to come back to you in a way that feels natural and wonderful.
Take care,
Doe
Although the phrase is kind of a cliche at this point, practicing "random acts of kindness" is, I believe, a good way to start opening up your heart to feeling that love and the peace that comes with it.
Sometimes it's easier to give than receive. Finding little ways (and nothing is too small--just do whatever you feel moved to do by love) to give love and compassion to OTHERS, I've found, acts something like a wave--you send it out, and it comes right back to you. It all sounds very New-Agey and abstract, but that's not how I mean it. Just look around you, wherever you are, and open your eyes to the concrete ways that you can offer love. For example, if you see a homeless person, perhaps offer not only a dollar or two, but a genuine smile and a few kind words. If you see a sick or injured animal, take care of it, or put it in a place where it can be safe. If you're at a social gathering and see that someone is feeling left out or uncomfortable, make an effort to include him or her.
You say you are a kind person, but still don't "feel the feelings." If you are kind, it's coming from somewhere, even if you don't think it feels "real". Maybe it would help to not have expectations of what it "should" feel like, and just accept whatever feelings come or don't come while you're making that effort to be even more kind (even after all of the difficulties you've had in your own life--that makes the kindness worth even more, in my opinion). Keep making a conscious effort to show love and compassion every chance you get, and eventually, I think, it will all start to come back to you in a way that feels natural and wonderful.
Take care,
Doe
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