My partner and I have chosen to have a break,split for a while,i dont know how long for but yeah.....It was my choice and i feel very guilty now for wanting some time for myself,to sort my head out.He is a great man,he has a heart of gold,but why then arent i happy??? I mean whats my problem,if he is such a great person why leave him to maybe never have a connection like that again.Saying that the past 8 months havent been easy,we have had alot of problems,we argue alot,angry alot and just not happy.....We do love eachother but things seem to have changed....
Some people i have told have put all the blame on me and have made me feel pretty bad.They have been saying because we have a child together that i should stay with him for our son.They say if i want to be a good mother i should put my son first,it doesnt matter about my happiness as i have 3 lives in the palm of my hand not just my own.....Is that true,should i forget about what i want for my son? Im very confused right now,i dont even know what happiness is or what i want....
He was my first real love,i havent known anything else,am i just in a comfort zone,where do i go from here?
Do i stay with him and try to be happy or walk away so to speak and find out what i want.....My son does deserve to have his mummy and daddy together and that is what has made me feel awful.I didnt sleep all night because my head has been spining,am i doing the right thing,what if i leave him then regret it,am i a bad mother for not trying to sort things out and blah blah blah.
It really is doing my head in.....I just dont know what i want and i wish people wouldnt sift the blame on me and say im selfish.I thought a relationship was two people working at it,its never just ones fault,so if things arent peachy then it cant be just my problem,can it????
I feel like the person who recks anothers life,all i know is im not happy and i dont know why......
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Well thanks for that....I just needed to vent and get that out.....
Can anyone spare a hug for me?? :smt009
Thanks,Tamara :smt051