![Image](http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/7664/negativepolarityspreadin0.jpg)
By pirbid
I have used Robin Wood's deck, for a change and because I thought my reactions would be fresher, since I am not so familiar with them as with RW. I tried to take a pic of them in line, but my webcam is just not good enough and I am one of those few people without a decent digital camera, so I had to scan them, and this was the only way to fit them all in the same picture.
My question has been "Things I should know about myself?" I have used the position meanings Gem gave us (lazy me), and they are placed thus:
ME
Strengths Weaknesses
REAL PROBLEM
What I need Who or what can
to do help me
OUTCOME
ME: THE HIEROPHANT - I am dogmatic, intolerant, a know-it-all busybody who thinks herself better than the rest. The good side is that I like order, helping others in those things I feel capable of and, above all, learning and teaching.
STRENGTHS: 4 OF PENTACLES - I really and truly know how to protect myself: my time, my space, my material possesions. I am well organized and always have everything under control or else... I fall prey to a nervous attack :smt013
WEAKNESSES: 4 OF CUPS - I am sometimes too apathetic for words, lose interest in my projects, refuse to even look at anything new and challenging. And, above all, I refuse to interact with other people most of the time.
REAL PROBLEM: THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE - I am scared of not being able to know what is coming next in my life. I like movement, but I also like to be able to point the direction in which I want to go. This card specially reminds me of my awfully extreme changes of mood, usually in tune with my hormonal cycle. And yes, I see it as a very real problem in my everyday life, I assure you.
WHAT I NEED TO DO: THE MOON - I need to trust in my dreams and my inner life, such as it is, because it is always brutally honest and right to the point, whether I like it or not (specially my dreams, once interpreted). I also need to be less prone to believe everybody is out to deceive me.
WHO OR WHAT CAN HELP ME: THE DEVIL - I suppose it refers to being aware of my addictions and all the ways in which I come to depend on others, however independent I would like to believe myself. I guess being aware of it is the first step in being rid of them.
OUTCOME: 3 OF SWORDS - Heartbreak. Sooner or later, I feel defeated or let down, unjustly treated, betrayed and snubbed by those I thought near. Then the whole wheel begins anew with my "4 tendencies" of overprotection and aloofness, my Hierophant intolerance, my moony sense of deceitfulness and taking comfort in my addictions (by the way, in case you are gettting worried there, it is mainly to food, specially chocolate).
Seeing this exaggerated (I hope) picture of my life routines, I can see most of my unhappiness is my own doing, specially because I tend to have very high expectations on the behavior of others, which leads unerringly to feeling let down, since the poor things are not gods or supernatural creatures (I seem to see myself above the rest, in one of the figures I hate most in society, to top it all off).
I feel great, just as when getting some insight from a dream: brutally honest, this is.
![:smt011](./images/smilies/011.gif)